Boys and Science

God, I realised I had finished my blog by getting ready for Teasy Pleasy, promising you photos and post about it then clean forgot. Oops…

Not like there is anyone to tell me off.

So, Teasy Pleasy was a good night all round. A few sound hiccups at the start didn’t distract too much from the night. Domino Burlesk was every bit as delightful as I remembered her to be as was Glory Pearl, Raspberry Ripples and the other performers. One again Miss Anticipation bought members of the audience to their feet with cheers for her act. God that girl is strong. She did press-ups, flexes and all sorts! Adorable! The only downside for the night was that one of the stall holders didn’t have Bordello leopard print shoes in my size! Gutted! By the way (HINT HINT), to anyone who wants to buy me something to make me smile. In fact any of their shoes would be good. I have been a good girl all year…sort of.

I spent the rest of the evening dancing with mates to the Whip Crackin Daddies…rather dishy trio, even if I do say so. The whole place danced along to them and they certainly have stage presence. The double bass player had girls swooning over him though admittedly, Jim Jeffries was the pinup of the group. His pretty boy looks grabbed all the girls’ attention. A fair few ladies were overheard gushing over him….The drummer got the girls squealing when he jumped into the audience to play. I safely retreated to the bar to watch the carnage of women and dancing commence. Awesome times to say the least. A late night and a stagger home with my best mate Big S that got me home so late it was disgraceful. Big S you have alot to answer for!! Just like old times then.

The next day was spent nursing a hangover and being dragged reluctantly out of my bed at Dixie Doll’s house to head off to shop, I crashed and burned with Tempest-Rose on the grass in the sun….

I even managed to pick up a new jacket for me to take to Paris for my show out there in October…oh how I love it. It’s green wool with leopard print cuffs and collar. Made by the delicious brand Aquacustum…spolit? me? yes! I did prat around in a few vintage shops as well. I managed to find a real treasure trove of a shop. When I arrived a new shipment of vintage French lingerie had just arrived. WOW, the whole lot were in perfect condition and some unworn.

If you are ever near Bournemouth/Boscombe/Southbourne I suggest you visit Clobber. It’s a great shop and I am going back to mooch some more as soon as I get back that way. I have my eye on some 40s dresses and some cowboy boots. The rest of the week revolved around rehearsals ready for the weekend show at The British Science Festival and a radio interview (more to be disclosed soon). I have to say a pretty subdued week all in all…though a lot spent listening to the Whip Crackin Daddies album Paul gave me. ‘Fire’ is my favourite though oddly reminds me of the old Rawhide theme song…oops did I say that?! :p

I noticed a few of my mates have liked it and have downloaded it off iTunes…

So last night saw me performing at the British Science Festival and I have to say, I had a brilliant time. I was put up in a very nice hotel with flowers delivered and wine (nice!!!) and was treated impeccably. The show went really well…my Gorilla act certainly raised a few laughs and Professor No No had them singing and dancing with me. Fabulous, so a special shout out to all at Aston University students who attended and to Mel Spencer for organising it for me to be there. MWAH! I would like to thank the free styling rapper who made a rap about me but I never got his name other than he was Canadian (from Vancouver) and loved science.

A rather surreal moment was dancing at the end of the night only to realise I was surrounded by people in white lab coat, it felt all too horror movie waiting to happen for me so moonwalked (yes moonwalked! *SHAME*) out of the circle and ran for cover at the bar.

Pretty much spending much of today (Sunday) catching up and rehearsing for my next shows. I have glitter all over me but then that’s nothing new. Off to listen to some Big T Tyler…I use some of his music in my acts. Great catchy beats I found. Right, ciao ciao!

Khandie Khisses has performed for BABC. More can be found at: www.khandiekhisses.com

Watersports….oh I say matron!!!

I will admit that despite the title this blog is not about the rather sordid affair of water sports of the sexually perverse type. Instead, I am referring to my recent underwater rehearsals, hot tub antics and general debauchery that has now become standard of a Khandie weekend.

Saturday saw me performing for my first ever Dr Sketchy’s in London (I have done others elsewhere). What a cracking venue!!! I mean honestly, The Old Queen’s Head on the Essex Road is stunning. Claire who runs the whole thing is a dream to work with and I am already looking forward to coming.

I had a great time modelling especially with the rather hot, Luke…hubba hubba. Sadly I don’t have any images of him to flaunt at you, but trust me that boy is damn fine. Damn damn damn fine. There was no hardship posing for 10mins with my head on his lap let me tell you. Calm down KK…..

After the show though, I had to hightail it off to my lovely mate Nikki (who runs www.NikitaSablier.net). You see this luscious lady was celebrating her birthday. I am sure she said it was her 21st…hahaha. It was like meeting up with old mates though, as on my arrival all people from my modelling assignments (photographers and fellow models) were there. Was a really funny evening with much antics spent in the hot tub. No, not in that porno kind of way. One of the highlights was two rather ‘brave’ men donning bikinis to join us in the pool. The party was a smash, lots of naughty photos of drunk people… I was a good girl. I had a shoot/rehearsal next day, so no drinky poosies

So, after crawling out of bed at stupid o’clock in the morning.. Ok, more mid morning, Matt Miller refused to make me a cup of tea, instead making me suffer the awful brew that some adolescent (ok so he was 22) made me….it was awful. YUCK! Cue me stealing bacon from the bacon sandwiches that Geetee had made and before I knew it, I was on my way to Aylesbury.

The lovely people at Scubaducks had offered me the chance to use their scuba training pool to rehearse my commissioned underwater mermaid/watersprite act. Along with Baron from Immortal Eye Photography, we started some basic warm up exercises…and then (near) disaster.

How can I put this… you see, I have a fairly large chest on me and trying to stay under the water deep enough to rehearse was impossible. My mammaries/tits/boobs/chest-icles/bazookas/top bollocks/puppies were proving to be good flotation devices. Oh there’s a salute to Mae West (whose name was used as a nickname to life saving vests back in the day) and after 3 kilos (!) of lead shot were added to keep me down (hahahaha), rehearsals could get under way. Though firstly, I needed to get used to the water its self (needless to say a lot more rehearsals are required) and thankfully, Scubaducks are more than accommodating! Thank you, guys I owe you!

FYI, if you like my swimsuit it’s from For Luna …perfect pinup! So go buy it! I have it in red, black and leopard print.

Next rehearsal will see some more experiments with movement under the water so hopefully I will have video footage to show you…here’s hoping at least.

Right now I am in Bournemouth this weekend. Off to see my friends and watch a burlesque show (Teasy Pleasy). My mate’s (past BABC performer) Glory Pearl, Vie, Sensu’Elle and Paul are all performing in various capacities so should be a great night. Will no doubt blog and abuse photos for you all later.

Ciao! Off to paint my nails ready for tonight…oh the glamour! Hahaha....

One Bank Holiday, Two Nights out,Three Cities (ish), One Speeding Ticket and A Film

So you can guess from the title of this blog I have been a manic lady once again…nothing out the ordinary there then??!!

Well you would be wrong as I dont make it a habit to get speeding tickets. Damn my heavy foot and damn the rather dishy policeman who caught me with his snazzy camera on my way home from Northampton. I will put my hands up and say SORRY… not that it will stop me getting the fine and points. GRIM.

Well first things first this lady left work on Friday (i mean vanilla work) to Aylesbury to see my best buddy Big S. He and I go way back to my military days….I love Big S. Especially when he cooks for me…Sausage n mash! My favourite. I may not be the classiest of birds but I am true to my roots of british grub!

The next day I flew up the motorway towards Telford to see a good mate of mine Steve B (former singer with the metal band Vert). We headed off to Wolverhampton for the night…and I was shocked. Not only did we get two double JDs n cokes for less than £8 (hey I live in London) but also that two pubs played S Club 7 and Las Ketchup. It was like the last 15 years hadnt happened. Steve and I quickly sunk our drinks and headed off to his favourite metal/rock club The Planet. aaahhh the plusating beats of metal and rock…

By the time we got our asses home by way of a lovely taxi driver who put up with my singing, Steve’s stupid questions and both our drunken ramblings I was ready for bed….SHATTERED.
By morning though Steve dragged my weary ass off to have a bite to eat…namely a roast dinner! I mean WTF….I was hungover! But dutifully tucked in…only stopping when I realised it wasnt gluten free (wheat allergy!). Damn it…

Anyway I couldnt hang about too much as I had to race off to Northampton to see Luli Blue a lovely mate of mine and fellow burlesquer. I adore this lady…not only is she wonderfully yummy she also owns her own burlesque/belly dancing studio. That night Luli dragged me off to this tiki bar tucked away in Northampton town centre. I would never have guessed it was there if I hadnt had her with me. Its called Hakamou and is lovely! I had a fair few cocktails that night (non alcoholic admittedly) but couldnt have better service or better drinks. Each one I sampled was delicious. Strongly recommend you go. I am definitely going next time…I may even see if I can hire the place for a private party…or shoot.

The next morning both of us were up early so sadly we couldnt stay and party the night away….
The bank holiday Monday had to have been the most surreal and oddly enjoyable days of my life so far. Ok so that does sound mushy but its not everyday you get to go over lines for a film with a man none other than the world renown ALAN MOORE!!! and to not only have him but Mitch Jenkins to direct/film it! Mitch and I have worked together with Alan before to create the Dodgem Logic burlesque issues (along with Luli and Darkteaser!). I had an absolute blast and cant wait to see the results though more filming is to take place…I wont tell you anything about the script as thats just not ethical but I am excited.

Having the three of us girls in the same room (Darkteaser, Luli and I) was a recipe for chaos and before long we were all howling with laughter and telling rude jokes. Just like old times. Not sure why I dont have a picture of Darkteaser….oh well. She is a gem. I even got to have a longish chat with Mr Moore himself which was wonderful as I was rather nervous of meeting him again…the first time I met him I honestly had no idea who he was. I just thought he was a lovely (albeit very hairy) man with cracking smile and a good sense of wit. Now that I know more about him I was worried I wouldnt be able to string two words together let alone go through scenes with him…damn it. Thankfully his jokes and loveliness put me at ease…that and him saying a certain word over and over again…I wont tell you what it was as it will spoil the film.

Anyway one speeding ticket later, a long drive home and I found myself tucked up in bed ready to sleep. aaahhh randomness rocks my socks.

Ciao ciao!

For more on BABC alumni Khandie Kisses, go to: www.khandiekisses.com

Vivid Soda and Beyond

Wow, what a crazy weekend. From skidding in my car on the ice in Aylesbury to meeting a inspirational lady.

Despite the heavy snowfall and dodgy driving conditions, I journeyed to Aylesbury through work and see a close friend. The work was ok. Less said the better, to be honest. Admittedly, most of my trip was spent drinking Champagne Sangria and rehearsing my newest act to debut at Vivid Soda on the Sunday. To say I was bricking it would be an understatement. I was however, put at easy after seeing the new custom corset design and created exclusively for me by Lynn of Vintage Lynndy Loo. It a creation to behold. With the added splendour of my beautiful star encrusted bustle and panties from Lucy at Burldoir, I knew the act would be beautiful visually even if anything went wrong.

Vivid Soda is a show I have done a few times and have always performed to a great crowd and this night was no different. Each performer bought something new and exciting: Banbury Cross was her ever beautiful self performing a near nude fan dance and her champagne striptease; there was my beautiful bellydancer Luli Blue who performed a belly dance and a clock work doll act (FABULOUS!); there was the stunning Fifi Fatale who wowed the crowd with both routines: a strip tease and a beautiful art deco inspired routine; Warren Speed entertained as both Charlie Chaplin and then in a double act with the gorgeous, stunning Kiki Kaboom to perform a chav act to end all shows! It bought the house down!

Plus a local lady making her debut! She went down very well amongst the crowd. I have to admit I forgot her full name but it does translate as Madam Naughty. Tee hee! Oh and there was me!

Whilst the show was fabulous to say the least and James Thorpe captured some fantastic images of us all, it was two particular audience members who stole my heart for the night. I wont spill names due to reasons that will become clear. Both were clearly in love with one another but it wasn't that that made my heart break.

The woman informed me she had breast cancer. I was shell shocked to say the least I mean she looked healthy and vibrant (ok so not all people are sick, pale and withering but she seemed genuinely chuffed with life), she was smiling as she FINALLY gets to have massive breasts, which were her words!

She was excited that after the surgery she could have implants. Her sunny outlook on the whole situation made me realise that this disease isn't all doom and gloom and has some positive outcomes, for her at least. Her husband seemed immensely proud of her. I nearly cried like a soppy bugger, especially when I learnt he was off to Afghanistan soon. So instead of snotting everywhere, we danced and posed for photos together.

A truly fantastic weekend of all sorts of reasons.

Khandie Khisses performed for BABC recently at the Dirty Dicks show. You can find all of her lovely brilliance at www.khandiekhisses.com

Photo by Derek Bremner for Burlesque Against Breast Cancer

Introducing... Khandie Khisses

Recently, I had a bit of a marathon mini tour of England.

Firstly I went from London to Preston, then Preston to Northampton, then Northampton to Exeter, then Exeter to Torquay, Torquay to Plymouth and finally Plymouth to London and then home.

MANIC. National Rail got practically all the way which was lovely to be able to snooze on the train between performances. No smelly BO infested person sat next to me either which was lovely though mildly/oddly disappointing. Have had this been a regular occurrence for me whenever I go by train I felt somehow ripped off for my ticket when I didn’t get one.

So one highlight for me was performing for the legendary Alan Moore (of V for Vendetta and Watchmen amongst others fame.). He is launching a new magazine called Dodgem Logic. GO BUY A COPY! Its awesome!!!!

I was rather star struck by it all. Darkteaser, Luli Blue, Nicole A Lure and myself tasselled and twirled our ways through the shows. It was lovely to be back with old friends and enjoy ourselves. Special mention to James and Anna Thorpe, Tamsyn Payne and Joe Brown for looking after us all. By the way Nicole is behind the Hourglass photographic company. A lovely present for any lady!

Exeter was another personal highlight as I got to see the multi-talented couple The Bells AKA Kinky and Quirky Burlesque N Boogie. Mark and Sarah have managed to create one hell of a burlesque night out in a town that had never seen burlesque before. People come from all over to watch their shows. I spoke to people from Canterbury and Cardiff who had come to see the show. I performed along side the rather ravishing Soup De Jour (her cat act is amazingly fabulous) and the ever magnetic Equador the Wizard (GO SEE THIS MAN PERFORM!) He bought the house down with his final act and I HIGHLY recommend you go see him! Mark Bell is also a talented artist. His work is very highly admired and so much so I am looking to purchase a painting myself.

As Kinky and Quirky is based in my home town I often feel odd coming back but Mark and Sarah make you feel so welcome its fantastic to be there. I adore performing at their shows and cant wait to go back.

Plymouth saw me staying in a cold but still pleasant enough hotel as I was performing at Annabels. Admittedly I was nervous as I had never performed there before but needn't have bothered to be.

A cracking band (the Faux Fur Full) was playing some pretty rocking tunes very Big Voodoo Daddies sounding though they covered a lot of similar band songs. Though there was no specific stage to perform on Annabel (owner and name sake) managed to clear a space in front of the band for myself and two new performers (Midnight Caller and Midnight Iris). The crowd were lovely even though some were rather drunk. I loved all the gold mirrors and chequered flooring. Andy who helped to run the club was so cute! He danced backstage with us girls...proper snake hips going on. Annabel was nice too. She runs a tight ship which was good to see.

Anyway, before long I was back in London and in Nikita Sablier dancing in her shop window to celebrate her one year anniversary of the shop opening!

Khandie Khisses performed for BABC recently at the Dirty Dicks show. You can find all of her lovely brilliance at www.khandiekhisses.com

Photo by Derek Bremner for Burlesque Against Breast Cancer

Guest Blogger: Khandie Khisses

My name is Khandie Khisses and I am proud to support Burlesque Against Breast Cancer.

I’m on my way home on a rather lovely Virgin train (first class, oo la la) on my way home from a fabulous burlesque war: Cold War Burlesque, to be exact. Among the fabulous sponsors was my dear friend Peski DeVille who owns Missy Changos and MonkeyBrand. Her performance of a Russian Bride was hilarious.

There were so many great performers. I will list them all once I checked spelling (burlesque names have some funny spelling not least mine). Candee Handful and Honey Wilde had me in fits of giggles with their acts from Thatcher to Adam Ant, what more could you want from a night?!

Whilst the Russian side defeated the British it was lovely to lose to such a talented lot. My fab moment for the night was the sound of the audience chanting my name. I was so taken back by it. You lot certainly know how to make a burlesque girl feel proud. Thank you.

My trip to Oz (Sydney and Melbourne to be precise) is looming and I can't wait. I have plans to shop like a crazy lady at all the corset/pinup shops and see as much Australian burlesque as possible. My own board treading is in Melbourne but more of that nearer the time. I feel sorry my poor folks who I am supposed to be visiting following their recent immigration. I mean they are gonna have to be dragged along to the shows. Though I am sure they won't mind. They like them. I think my folks are my biggest fans, my mom is forever talking about her
burlesque daughter.

Anyway I am going to have to speak to the lovely Jac Bowie to see what shows are on. Burlesque appears to be a universal language... LOL... I can't think of a
country that doesn't have it.

Monday is a modelling shoot, then Wednesday is Burlesque Against Breast Cancer, Dirty Dicks, Liverpool Stn, London. Come along and have a giggle.

Remember to donate generously as statistically one in three of us will get cancer at some point in our lives apparently. Some of us have been touched by it already and some have yet to be. The least we can do is help those who are suffering and make life a little easier.

Love Khandie xxx

Khandie Khisses will be performing for Burlesque Against Breast Cancer at Dirty Dicks, near Liverpool Street on Oct 21st. For more info, go to: www.khandiekhisses.com